July 25, 2011
Journey of Joy: From Dark to Light
A myriad of ideas percolate in my mind as I sit to write. God is dealing with me in a new and different way. What once was so crystal clear has become a hazy view. So, I step out not knowing where I am going, unable to see past the first step. I invite you to journey with me as I sense God’s call to share the dialogue that has taken place between Him and I. Where each step will take us I am not completely sure but I know that He cares for the heartache that many of His children carry. So join with me on a journey to joy.
Chapter 1 found here
From Dark To Light
“English pig” was the chant by the gaggle of girls who followed me around school. Taunts and teasing had become everyday events since I started this new school in a foreign land. I had learned to check my seat before sitting down as gifts of tacks were often left as sharp reminders that I didn’t belong. Bullying, a new word that was as foreign to me as the culture and norms of this Canadian high school, became my day to day reality. Stalking the “English pig” became a favourite past-time of this group of girls and I fought to close my ears to the grunts and oinks that greeted me around every corner and bend.
We were poor and all I had to wear was the tattered hand-me down uniforms from my previous school in England. Mortified that no-one else wore uniforms and that these Canadian girls wore new and pretty clothes every day, I began to lie. “My clothes had been shipped in a separate trunk and it hasn’t arrived”. Then, as time passed, “the trunk was lost at sea”. I didn’t fit in. I stuck out. I wanted to hide and yet I wanted to be seen.
In spite of, or maybe because of the poverty and the taunts, I began to apply myself to my studies and found that academics were something that I could excel at. But it wasn’t enough. There was a hunger “to belong” and a longing “to matter” that fought within my soul. So I began to search and seek, but not after God. You see, I didn’t believe in God. But there was a dark side that pulled at the edges of my soul.
Witches, covens and pagan rituals drew my attention even at the tender age of 13. I won a speech award for the whole high school and the topic was “Witchcraft”. Here, at last, I began to sense a power that was mine.
But God had other plans.
A JOURNEY TO JOY
We had become even poorer and the British Columbia government provided welfare money so that our family could leave the province in order to travel to Manitoba where relatives were willing to take us in until Dad found work.
It was here, in a small town of Manitoba, that my life would be forever changed. A new friend had invited me to come with her to church and at this point I would have done anything to get away from the small town and into the city where the church was.
Strange and unfamiliar was the service and yet something got a hold of my heart.; a presence so real that tears began to roll down my upturned face as my heart yearned for more. God apprehended this troubled teen that day so long ago. An encounter with the living God that has forever altered and changed the course of my life; powers of darkness receded as the light of God filled my hungry soul. I became a child of God that day and finally knew who I really was, a handmaiden of the King.