Mind you when I woke up hubby was at work and my son was doing what many teenagers do, sleeping until noon. So I was technically alone.
This mood persisted all day and I could not shake it. Of course, neither male even noticed. (See the attention thing creeping in here...?)
I really was having a "wobbly" day. One of those off-kilter days. I finally decided to bring it to the attention of one of my "men" and my son was the nearest.
Words of advice from a teenage boy... "hey, just wallow in it. That's what I do".
You know what, as ludicrous as the advice sounded... I found tears welling up and slipping down my cheeks. A bit embarrassed I mumbled ,"I think I will" and took myself off to bed thinking "what does this say about me?"
You know, I woke up with a start about an hour later and felt much different. Now sitting here thinking through this wobbly day I am realizing how tired I really was and yet kept pushing myself to keep going:
- I've been sick for 12 days and having a hard time shaking it. Yes, I did go to the walk-in yesterday and I have the prescription in my purse but thought that I could wait another day and "shake it off".
- My father-in-law had been in hospital for almost 6 weeks and then we had to settle his affairs, dispose of his furniture, clean up the apartment and settle him into a personal care home just over 12 days ago.
- I kept up a daily writing schedule and research study.
- On a whim decided to apply for a casual job over the summer. This was done before my father-in-law became ill and needless to say, I was hired . I found myself sitting with extremely ill patients from 11 p.m. to 7 a.m. a few nights a week.
- Then my father was in emergency this week because he was having difficulty swallowing. He had a CT scan today as well for a spot on his lung. His cancer may have returned. (Along with all the emotional trauma and drama that occurs within this family of origin. See my website at http://www.thewoman2woman.com/ for some insight on this).
- Then this week a sibling is suicidal.
- Another sibling calls from overseas...and this stirs up emotional residual effects.
I was suppressing the emotional toll that was occurring even underneath the "not feeling well". My body was letting me know that something was going on and I WAS NOT listening. So then my emotions were kicking in to let me know and once again, I WAS NOT LISTENING.
The cat-nap refreshed my body enough so that my mind could recognize the emotional upheaval that I was stuffing without being conscious of doing so.
So, how do I feel now? Well a whole lot better! Thanks for listening.
1 Samuel 2:8 He puts people on their feet again; He rekindles burned-out lives with fresh hope, restoring dignity and respect to their lives-a place in the sun!
now... about that prescription..